Learning Submission

For the past 1 year and 9 months that I have been home from YWAM, God has truly done an amazing work in me. To many of you here on the home front, my life has been an open book as you have been apart of the grueling process that change can so often bring. Correction, that God can so often bring.
It is no surprise to me that we're hitting "submission" in Sunday School. This has been a major topic in my life throughout the past two years. Learning to submit is never fun nor easy, especially for any of us who are children of Adam. Naturally I am a very stubborn, selfish, prideful and impulsive person and I do not like to be told "no." Well as any good father would do when confronted with a child like me, he would pull out the belt or the rod of correction. My Father, my Heavenly Father, did just that. He set me down hard on the Potter's wheel and began to water me down as to soften me up.
When I first arrived home from YWAM I was on fire and ready to go, go, go. I was ready to minister and change my church because I knew that they were not where they needed to be spiritually speaking (I'm surprised no one stepped aside as to let a lightening bolt strike me, yikes). Thinking back now, I just shake my head at that girl. I won't get into too many details as to how the Lord dealt with me, but lets just say that the verse in Hebrews 12:6 takes on a whole new meaning for me. " For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he punishes every son he accepts."
I felt when I first came home that I would only be home for a short visit, that it would be temporary until the Lord moved me elsewhere. I thought 6 months tops! As I say that I get a picture in my head of God holding on to my pants as I'm sprinting in place trying to break free so that I can run ahead. That's kind of what it felt like. I had the desire to sprint, to hit the track and take off....change the world for Jesus! But to my confusion and alarm the Lord kept telling me to wait, to be still and to stay. To quote a wise man that I know "the ways of God are slow, steady and sure." Boy did that go against the grain for me!
At first the only thing keeping me here at home was that I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that the Lord had called me here. I was determined to walk in obedience, however my attitude stunk. I cried, complained and threw many of tantrums but I would like to THANK THE LORD for friends like Ashlie and Pastor who served as crash pads for me. They drew close to me and helped me learn to walk. It was through their love and support that it became easier for me to be content and to really learn to submit. Not just to the Lord but to my Pastor, my 1830 leader, and to my brothers and sisters in Christ. God worked out alot of junk in me and worked in humility which I think is key to submission.
I am now really and truly enjoying my time here and home and am not looking to leave anytime soon. Time and time again Pastor would tell me that, "Godliness with contentment is great gain." I have found this to be so true. I'm experiencing that great gain and am loving it! I have learned that its not about just enduring a season, but embracing it and living it to its fullest for the glory of God. I wish I could better expose my heart before you because seriously I feel new and improved. :) God is so good and so faithful. He makes me laugh and do things that I could have never imagined myself doing. He thrills me and inspires me so much! Hallelujah! Amen!